A pro-choice position palatable for the anti-immigration minded

Photo by Fabian Jones on Unsplash

As a white male born to pale parents in Minnesota, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that I have no real dog in the abortion or the immigration race. …

The anchors holding back better relationships.

A dirty window with “All you need is love” written on it.
Photo by Badal Patel on Unsplash

Thinking about the things I can LIVE without is easy. I’m intensely unfond of clowns, raisins, and the Beatles. My idea of hell involves a creepy grown man in makeup with oversized shoes singing “Hey Jude” while holding a tray of cookies loaded with those revolting shrunken grapes. Fortunately, it’s…

Nudity, advertising, alcoholism, and 10 other guys I won’t mention

Eleven iron workers sitting 60 floors above New York City on a steel girder
Lunch atop a Skyscraper, New York Herald-Tribune, Oct. 2, 1932

I realized the other day that I spend a substantial amount of time naked thinking about the guy on the right of the photo.

This iconic image lives on the wall in my bathroom, and I’m inexplicably drawn to this particular character with a bottle in hand. The photo hangs right behind my toilet, so you might say that my connection with him is rather intimate.

It’s not the two guys chaining a smoke…

Nothing bad has ever happened to you precisely as you imagined.

Picture of a window with a neon sign advertising for a psychic reader.
Photo by Jose Antonio Gallego Vázquez on Unsplash

The crack cocaine of Greek philosophy and Stoicism for me is a concept called ‘premeditatio malorum.” It is a dog Latin term for the ‘pre-meditation of evils,’ which is essentially a deliberate practice of carving out time in the day to contemplate worst-case scenarios so that your mind would be…

The best thing on the entire Internet on 8/6/2021 at 3:17 PM PST

Photo by Fauzan Saari on Unsplash

Tune into this guy and thank me later.

Most of the internet is like using an ice cream scooper in a cat litter box. As soon as you hear the click, you know you are not being served up with something delicious. This is not…

And 4 other awful phases that tell you your relationships are whispering for an upgrade.

Man and woman outside kissing in the rain.
Photo by Filipp Romanovski on Unsplash

“I love you just the way you are.”

If you were a caged bird, you would hear this song of resignation from the bird in the crate next to you. Not to be mistaken by the patient tolerance that nurturing friendships have while you test your wings, more often than not, the person who “loves you just the…

This is the most interesting story I have ever written

Image of burning sage in front of a woman’s face wearing sunglasses.
Photo by Brittany Colette on Unsplash

“ive never felt more degraded, ashamed, embarrassed, angry or sad. F ALASKA AIRLINES!” — Sierra Steadman on Tiktok

The immodesty police accosted a young woman on a recent Alaska Airlines flight and rudely and forcefully asked to cover up what…

Contemplations on revenge, justice, and insecticide

Image by Author

The axe forgets, but the tree remembers — African Proverb

The time is around 9:30 PM when I make my usual trip to the backyard to retrieve the cat for the safety of the indoors overnight from under the juniper tree, as is her usual evening haunt. She’ll whine and…

We can choose to let our totems motivate or mock us

A photo of a plastic bobble head placed over a pink and blue sky.
Image by Author

Meet Chip.

I’ve taken one selfie in my entire life, and you can find it in your click here. If I were to buy one, that means that the ROI on a selfie stick would be precisely the cost divided by one. A friend of mine made this bobblehead for me many…

The nettlesome truths that destroy first drafts

Photo of an ominous looking pirate ship at dusk.
Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash

The inconvenience of “It.”

Write something from your experience. If you’ve never seen it, and you’ve been writing at any exertion at all, you probably never will. Write anything that shades the page beyond the pale, and you will see it if you are capable of looking…

Charlie Koop

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store